You won't find a formal proof for using multiplicative moderator. You can support this approach by other means. For instance, look at the Taylor-MacLaurin expansion of a function f(X,M):
f(X,M)=f(0,0)+∂f(0,0)∂TT+∂f(0,0)∂MM+∂2f(0,0)∂T∂MTM+∂2f(0,0)2∂T2T2+∂2f(0,0)2∂M2M2…
If you plug a function of this form f(X,M)=β0+βXX+βMM+βXMXM into the Taylor equation, you get this:
f(X,M)=β0+βXX+βMM+βXMXM
So, the rationale here is that this particular multiplicative form of the moderation is basically a second order Taylor approximation of a generic moderation relationship f(X,M)
UPDATE:
if you include quadratic terms, as @whuber suggested then this will happen:
g(X,M)=b0+bXX+bMM+bXMXM+bX2X2+bM2M2
plug this into Taylor:
g(X,M)=b0+bXX+bMM+bXMXM+bX2X2+bM2M2
This shows that our new model g(X,M) with quadratic terms corresponds to a full second order Taylor approximation, unlike the original moderation model f(X,M).